Misunderstood 1

     Who is Miss Nobody? Yes, you are quite aware that it is me; but read between the lines, what does it really state? A nobody means he or she is an outcast from everyone and usually forgotten and mocked by society. But in Miss Nobodys case, is there any difference? Keep on reading to find the answer to that question.

      Childhood. People say that our childhood is fun, but, everyone knows that everything has their own limitations. For me, childhood was okay; not great nor gloomy, there weren't that much excitement or blissful moments that could make you go cloud nine. And friends? Did I even have one? Literally, I have no friends that's a fact. Making friends became a joke to me, especially after sixth grade. And starting that day, trusting people became hard for me. Just having that verity that you're or I'm afraid of trusting someone and let's add that I am a shy person is equal to a timid person. Someone who may not reach realities expectations.

  Let's start from how I became a feeble person. Physically and mentally, I am somewhat useless. That's how I feel, that's how everyone before tells me; I can tell it by looking at their gestures. But what is the main cause of all of these negativity? It was back in sixth grade where all of my 'so called' friends have been lying to me all along, betraying me and the worst part leaving me alone in the pits of forlorness. Though I didn't fight back, I didn't even mock them or backstabbed them. All I did? I cried, day and night, whether I was in school or alone in the house. There was only one concern person who stayed by my side and eased my easily torn heart. I bet you now know that I'm a sensitive person. And yes, yes I'am. There is no doubt about it.

Never have I experienced to be truly loved by a friend. Not once have I felt the true meaning of friendship. At those times 'friends' it was just a word use to express closeness between to beings. Because of this I became more fragile, vulnerable and frail. I was afraid of almost everyone and somewhat tried to bury to myself that I'll never make a single acquaintance ever again. It was rather easy for a girl like me who suffered solidarity for a couple of years. And the only enjoyment I had was glancing at nature and it's components. I was also the one who adjusted just for them. Being known at school as the daughter of the owner; one of the owners to be exact, was hard.  So I just kept myself afar from everyone and tried to be friendly. Though all of those things led to suspicion. The act of being friendly to you're teachers was sip sip for them. But I just ignored it. Some persons are just so furious with me that they hide it, so when I make the slightest mistake to them their anger just goes over the roof.

From all the experiences I have endured for the past years I noticed that, I don't fully know myself. All I know is that I'm a very weak and sensitive person that can easily be stepped on by anyone who is stronger than me. And happiness, seemed to be miles away. My mouth wasn't familiar with the words smile and laugh. Laughing wasn't really my thing, I didn't actually know how to smile. Ask the people around me who usually takes pictures of me. Frowning. Now that's my thing, almost everyday before I frown. If I do smile it would only be a soft chuckle that only I can hear. And if I smile, I fake it, making it look very awkward. But I have no choice, because we are all aware that when someone smiles they are 'happy'. But, am I happy? No.

At those times, the only light for me was God. I told Him, "God, I don't know where all of this is going but you know that I surrender everything to You. It's all up to You, Lord." When I prayed for that I wasn't quite sure how all of this help me in the future, but, the strongest will I have was to trust God. So that's what I did.

This is me full of pain and despair, but never gives up.